9 Ways to Deal With Loss
Step 1: Taking Care of Number One
Coming to terms with a loss draws down an enormous chunk of your psyche’s bandwidth. The death of a loved one is exhausting. You keep asking yourself what’s wrong with you because you’re staggering around as if you’ve been hit by a truck.
Your system is metabolizing the loss. Other forms of loss — betrayal, abandonment, down-sizing, divorce or even losing a part of yourself because of surgery — can come close to death in the energetic drain they exert.
This is the time to ground yourself in a single truth: the universe designed You to take care of a single entity and one entity only, yourself. You’ll never be tested more than at this time to let your energetic system do the work it was set up to do: taking care of yourself.
Your fatigue is commensurate with your loss. It’s the equivalent of a hundred hangovers.
- Sleep it off — all you can, whether it happens to be 2:00 a.m., or 2:00 p.m.
- They say a wise man eats whenever he’s hungry. Even though grief cuts your hunger, your system needs fuel to metabolize the life-change that comes with a life-loss.
- Take as much time off work or your domestic responsibilities as possible. Blow out your annual vacation. Even though you feel weak, don’t feel shy about demanding — and taking — all of the bereavement leave that your company policy mandates. If you don’t have any of the above, request an unpaid leave.
- Get by with a little help from you friends. When help is offered, take it – and tell people you need it. They’re not mind-readers, and are often confused about what to do. Nowhere is the power of networking, delegating and division of labor more urgent than in bearing the load of loss.
- Cut your domestic workload in half: order take-out, a maid service and take your laundry to the neighborhood cleaner. Sure it’s costly. So is long-term illness or depression from mismanaged grief.
- Remember to brush your teeth :)
Step 2: Re-orient Yourself