Soul's Code

“I had flings with over-sexed football players, a boss at a TV station — and now see them as fallout from sexual abuse in my Catholic home”

MARINA GIULLIANI (Read part 1 , 2 and 3 of this Soul’s Code excerpt from the book, Sins of my Faith) — Being sexually-pleasured as a young child meant I was always very uncomfortable in situations where using my sexuality to get my own way was not an option.

The thought of heading to a segregated Catholic high school was pure torment.

My sister Angela had chosen the school a year earlier, and I was stuck with it. Now four to five years of nothing but girls and nuns loomed ahead of me. I was completely disillusioned by all things Catholic, and I hated the boxed-in feeling of girly stuff.

In high school I’d soon be totally engulfed by both.

The phrase, “I love you,” is an empty one until you can face these four fears

BY DR. ANGELA HEPPNER — When was the last time you said to someone “I love you”?

These have to be the three most precious words uttered when spoken from the heart with genuine meaning.

Is this not what everyone wishes to hear? It can be so easy for us to express our true feelings to some and not to others. Why is this?

There are four main reasons why this phrase is prevented from being expressed freely.

Our thoughts can create a personal heaven or hell. A psychic guide offers four ways to tune your inner voice to a higher frequency.     

GUEST COLUMN: PHYLLIS KING — When people ask me about their love life, money, or career, often the answer is not about whom they are going to meet, if they’ll make money, or whether they should change careers.

More often, the answer lies somewhere between one’s self-perception and how he or she relates to the human experience.

I am constantly reminding people about the truth of life we too often forget: remembering begets the empowerment to allow good to happen in life.

What we give our attention to is what we bring into our lives.

Look at your life: your circumstances as well as your feelings every moment of every day, and this will tell you exactly the quality and content of your thoughts and beliefs.

These aren’t “The Rules” that Oprah loves. DAVID RICHO’s arise out of Buddhism, a Catholic priesthood and depth psychology

SOUL’S CODE —  Shrunken stock portfolios, canceled checks, and an unemployment rate in the double-digits indicate that couples who are distressed in their relationships today will stick together tomorrow.

Stick it out, rather than walk out is a distinctly anti-Me Generation response to fear and unmet wants — the opposite of the Baby Boomer ethic of autonomy and desire-fulfillment.

The polar-opposite is our parents’ and grandparents’ code for survival — a Survivor-response to love and relationships forged in the scarcity of The Depression’s and WWII.

A 20-something seeker from South Carolina shares her secrets for finding, and realizing, love in the 21st century

GUEST COLUMN: CHELSEA LANGAN — Imagine remembering only the very best memories, and making only the finest plans for the future. This is all that should be going on when you are fully immersed in the present moment (a theme explored brilliantly in the movie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind).

My mantra to myself: ‘Negative thoughts that come across your mind are strictly off limits.’ Acknowledging this is really all it takes to eliminate the flotsam that weighs us down.  It is possible to let your inner light of love and life literally take over every process and aspect of your life.

What works for me: letting go and surrendering.  We are called to abandon worry and create moments of stillness in our minds to think precisely of NOTHING.  Hard to do, right?   Try these tricks throughout the day.

Cupid’s Coach.com founder Julie Ferman answers questions from Soul’s Code about the boom in the love business, and “What is an aura mixer”?

SOUL’S CODE — According to varied forms of spiritual practice and to the discipline of parapsychology, all of us are surrounded by an “aura” — a field of faint and glowing radiation.  You have probably had the experience of meeting people who seem to exude love, fun, anger or hate — even before they utter a word.

Julie Ferman uses auras to help singles connect. She hosts Aura Mixers and Flirt Parties. Julie is an expert in these matters: She launched the matchmaking service Cupid’s Coach in the last recession after 9/11 and the dot.com bust.

GUEST COLUMN: Beverley Wood

All of the guys I’ve ever been in love with have always said the same thing. I have one eye on the door even if it’s just out of the corner of the eye — like I’m waiting for someone who I know is coming, someday.

It disturbs me when guys point that out while we’re still at the intense romance stage. I don’t notice it myself until much later.

I believe in fate. I don’t know what it holds in store for me, but I believe in it.

The trouble with the door thing is the timing. When a significant other accuses me of staking out the door, I’m usually perfectly content. Until they point out this trait, I forget that I do it. And then I start wondering who it is that I’m waiting for. If I knew, I could take my eyes off the damn door . . . and get down to business.

A single mother whom we’ll call by her first initial, “M,” to protect her and her daughters’ identity and location, wrote to us to ask for advice and prayers. She’s just had a relationship-shocker that she compares to the movie, American Beauty, and the secret life of Amber Frey’s notorious (and married) ex, Scott Peterson. If that were not enough, M also just lost her corporate job.

In M’s own words . . .

Byron Katie goes all Zen in her second book, I Need Your Love — is that True?, published in 2005. Her approach to relationships is to get the reader to break down the sandcastle of his or her own thoughts. Thoughts are something that you create, not something that make you who you are–or at least that’s Katie’s creed. To end suffering, she invites us to out the highly arbitrary source of negative thoughts. No where is it more essential than between intimate partners.

Katie channels Hamlet with her “It is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so” approach to relationships. Think that you need someone? Then you will.

The solution proffered in the book is based on a set of four ego-eviscerating questions, starting with: “Is that thought I have about my relationship actually true?” And then: “Who or what would I be without the thought?” It’s a great technique for un-spooling loops of self-limiting thought patterns. Powerful

The best ways to handle anger: nude photo sessions, slutty behavior or destructive behavior

A woman left children entrusted to her care unattended to venture into the woods and pose for nude pictures, the Associated Press reports. The woman, a 20-year-old, said the photo session was designed to get back at her boyfriend.

It’s, indeed, a low point when we use sex to try and hurt those we purport to love, let alone put children in the way of harm or neglect. We’ve written about the benefits of nudity and highlighted different perspectives on sex. Let a quick thought from David Deida’s “Instant Enlightenment” serve as a commentary on this case: