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Spiritual Surf: Sex vs. love; online boyfriend applications; The Secret

Abusive boyfriends, how relationships go bad, checklists for a potential girlfriend

Girl in a Word has decided to dump her boyfriend after he nearly threatened physical abuse, she writes. She says she’s glad she didn’t marry the guy, who is manipulative, she says.

Living Tantra writes a nice piece on how relationships go bad: “As if you were on a speeding train, you have zoomed from the Happy Town of Idealizing to the Not-So-Happy Town of Demonizing. You have entirely skipped over the City of Realizing.” This comes from projecting onto your beloved, she writes. Definitely worth reading for anybody who thinks he or she is in love.

Worldtravelings has this great picture of two lovers.

TLA writes about the backlash he got for following the advice of The Secret and listing exactly what he wanted in a woman. We’ve been railing against The Secret for some time now.

Kimberly has an application for potential boyfriends up on her blog.

The Lookout compares a good relationship to good sex. The author’s idea would warm a libertarian’s heart. He or she writes:

The miracle of sex is that men and women take pleasure in actions that the other desires independently. The act of stimulating a sexual partner is sometimes much more exciting than the stimulation that they provide you, directly, and not simply because you enjoy that pleasure vicariously. And the same thing is true for all relationships, I think. The best chemistry in a relationship is when we take independent pleasure in doing things that our partners in that relationship enjoy.

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Spiritual Surf: Growing – personally, physically and spiritually

Spiritual Surf: Growing – personally, physically and spiritually

How do we grow? Let me count the ways…

Morten Lund writes about his daughter’s growth epiphany (see picture). I’ve had the same realization several times myself. I’ve outgrown several philosophies, ideas and even lovers. This is one of the hardest things about growth, you have to give things up and leave them behind. Whether it’s a favorite pair of pants that no longer fits, or your best friend, who seems to be stuck at a level you’ve left. But you can’t blame your pants or resent your old friend. Growth is part of your personal journey and if you’re not growing, it’s time refocus.

DaVette writes about growth in relationships:

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Spiritual Surf: Dr. Phil trolls for trash; pays millions

Spiritual Surf: Dr. Phil trolls for trash; pays millions

Dr. Phil, the official mascot of Oprah, has a permanent page on the site for his own TV series called “Be on the show” to solicit victims to air their soiled psychic baggage — and boost his ratings. Is it any wonder that people like Gavin Newsom and Lindsay Lohan go mad in this mad, mad world that Dr. Phil helps make more mad?

We excerpt brother Phil’s language whereby he seeks to facilitate an episode about marital discord and reconciliation. Direct quote, courtesy of Dr. Phil:

“CA ONLY: Know an Evil Bitch?

Do you know an evil bitch? Are you married to one? Do you constantly get in arguments over who’s more evil – you or them? Does it drive you crazy how nasty this ‘evil bitch’ can be and you want Dr. Phil to put them in their place? Tell us your story.”

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