Soul’s Code

Part 3 of 7 in a Soul’s Code series about codependence

BY DAVID RICKEY and PAUL KAIHLA — In our description of the Stage 1 of codependence we talked about how common it is for people who had childhoods with an abusive, dysfunctional or weak parent to carbon-copy that dynamic in adult relationships — or compensate for it.

As it happens, both of the 2008 presidential candidates fit the mold with their fathers. Barack Obama (in the B&W photo with his mother, step-father and half-sister) never really knew his father, except by myth.

GUEST COLUMN: VICKI WOODYARD

Vicki is a spiritual teacher and writer who lives in Atlanta, GA

We have all watched the Mastercard ads where narrow slices of life are branded as “priceless.” What I’ve come to learn from those whom I’ve loved, and have died, is that what is truly Priceless is an essence that animates each of us — and which I still know in those whom I’ve “lost.”

When was the last time you looked at the truth of your being and rejoiced? Most of us look at ourselves with jaundiced, weary eyes — and look at bonded-teeth and hair-weaves with envy and a sense that we will never look “perfect.”

I remember when my young daughter was dying of cancer. She lost all of her hair to chemo at age four.

To this petition and appeal by Debby Dernberger of Menlo Park, CA, we add our prayers:

“I am in search of a long lost relative, my brother. His name is Michael Jay Dernberger and he was a vagrant and homeless alcoholic living on skid row in Washington State. It is tragic what happened to him, and he is not the only one. I just want to find my brother.

“Is he alive or dead? Is he in jail, or is he OK? No one has heard from him since 1990. By posting this, it would help get the word out.”

Carl and Pat Turner are elderly and ailing. They require, at turns, the help of siblings, their three children,  neighbors — or hospital inpatient care. This request comes from their daughter . . .

We have a prayer request for Theresa Martin, from one of her daughters coping with this elderly woman’s recent admission to a Kitchener, ON hospital. Her daughter’s petition for intercessory prayers and description of Theresa’s condition . . .

Thanks be to Mom. Peace, love and gratitude for the carcinogens?

Sunday is Mother’s Day. Give thanks and praise for the one who birthed you. Thanks to Anglo-Libyan for the image.

Sofie Leon writes about Mother’s Day as a call for peace. She recalls the Mother’s Day Proclamation, a document written by Julia Ward Howe. Howe writes: From the bosom of the devastated Earth a voice goes up with our own. It says: “Disarm! Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice.” It’s particularly salient with so many sons and husbands in Iraq.

Tgaw offers this great mother’s day cartoon on her site. It’s boosted her traffic in the last week as people search

How do we grow? Let me count the ways…

Morten Lund writes about his daughter’s growth epiphany (see picture). I’ve had the same realization several times myself. I’ve outgrown several philosophies, ideas and even lovers. This is one of the hardest things about growth, you have to give things up and leave them behind. Whether it’s a favorite pair of pants that no longer fits, or your best friend, who seems to be stuck at a level you’ve left. But you can’t blame your pants or resent your old friend. Growth is part of your personal journey and if you’re not growing, it’s time refocus.

DaVette writes about growth in relationships: