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sinsofmyf

A child’s false God

My first “faith”: Catholic guilt, playing Purgatory, Priests who molested, and kissing cousins

BY MARINA GIULLIANI — Read part 1 and part 2 of this Soul’s Code exclusive from the book, Sins of my Faith

Outsiders would say I’m a serial victim of sexual abuse. I reject the word victim because I consider myself a champion and I resist being labelled at all, as such a complex experience can’t possibly be generalized.

Having said that, when I realized my stolen innocence created the havoc that became my future,
my mind raged with the minute details of experiences long forgotten. . .

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An unlikely love connection

How to turn MySpace into Our space: A contemporary shaman’s response to hate-mail

GUEST COLUMN: DAWN DANCING OTTER — Everywhere I go, in every moment, the ongoing mantra in my mind is a repetition of the four graces of Ho’oponopono — “I am sorry, I love you, please forgive me, thank you.”  What I have come to realize is that my life is transforming miraculously as a result. Whatever situation, whomever/whatever is in my field of observation, whatever thought or sensation that is in my present awareness, I am constantly reconciling, acknowledging, forgiving, and integrating.

The miracle to me, is that each moment I live is a lesson, a gift, an opportunity to love myself even more; to reconcile with the parts of myself that have been forgotten, disassociated, unloved. . .my shadows.

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The gift of surrender

“I can feel the years of fears, abandonments and hungers. And then, I let it all go in acceptance.”

GUEST COLUMN: JULIA TUCHMAN — I have never been very good at surrendering. I have been the fighter — the hold-on-to-the-side-of-the-cliff, fight-for-your-life, never-give-up and “go down with the ship” kind of soul. It was exhausting work, and with no apparent end in sight.

Surrender is one of the most essential lessons I needed to learn, and I have been given a legion of opportunities to learn, grow, and finally accept the wisdom of surrender. But I am stubborn. The lessons for surrender kept coming into my life, but I continued fighting, resisting surrender at any cost.

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The bearable lightness of being Roni Lipstein

An experience with altered consciousness provides a wellness coach with the strength to leave an abusive relationship, and an opportunity to learn to “love self, first”

BY RHONDA SHERYL LIPSTEIN — As an author, I realize that we all could write a book, since life itself is a series of experiences that expand our consciousness.

The only difference between one who “walks the talk” and one who does not even talk at all is whether we choose to be aware of this fact — of our expressed experience of being.

During my life I’ve had several experiences of expanded or altered consciousness, beginning when I was a child, continuing as an adult with the birth of my son — and later, when extricating myself from an abusive relationship.

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Making peace with childhood ghosts

Daniel realizes the far reaching effects a 49-year-old fight has had on many lives

BY DANIEL D. WOO, 2nd of two parts — I immediately found Chapter 18 and read it; here’s a paragraph:

“It is a summer evening, down in a green hollow, at the corner of a wall. I meet the butcher by appointment. I am attended by a select body of our boys; the butcher, by two other butchers, a young publican, and a sweep. The preliminaries are adjusted, and the butcher and myself stand face to face.

In a moment the butcher lights ten thousand candles out of my left eyebrow. In another moment, I don’t know where the wall is, or where I am, or where anybody is. I hardly know which is myself and which the butcher, we are always in such a tangle and tussle, knocking about upon the trodden grass.

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Fighting seasonal depression with song

Many people feel intensely sad during the winter months; here’s how a 23-year-old musician copes with his depression all year round

GUEST COLUMN: BLAKE BLISS — When I experience depression it’s a lot like watching a nightmare in endless rewind.

It closes in on me and keeps me from feeling anything positive.

I feel so alone most days that the sick feeling of isolation seems like my only reality. It’s strange, but it seems that when I’m lonely, the best cure is solitude.

The problem is, my demons often creep in from the shadows and raid my mind, plaguing me with dark imagery and worry.

My depression goes way back; I never faced my feelings as a child.

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Five Minutes of Heaven; a lifetime in hell

Five Minutes of Heaven; a lifetime in hell

An award-winning movie puts fear under observation, terror under surveillance — and reflects both the faces of hate and compassion

BY DANNY KENNY — In Oliver Hirschbiegel’s “Five Minutes of  Heaven”, characters played by Liam Neeson and James Nesbitt deal with universal themes of reconciliation, revenge and forgiveness, set against the backdrop of the Irish conflict.

Through the prism of post-9/11 America, it also examines  pent-up and painful emotions, as well as uncomfortable questions that surround those age-old themes.

This cinematic text offers an insight into the ongoing, daily struggle for sanity and serenity — for those on both sides of the political and/or religious divide — who try to carry on living with themselves after their world has been shattered.

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Killing me with kindness

How I learned to forgive my parents for their easy-going, Dr. Spock style of parenting — and grow up

GUEST COLUMN: ELLA GRANT — Okay, what’s the most unpleasant parent-related memory that you have from your childhood? And what would be the best? If the nastiest episode comes to mind quickly, and the best experience not so quickly — maybe like me — you need to open up a little box of forgiveness and see what comes out.

When I was a young child my parents were very good to me — no physical beatings, no harsh words.   But as I came to realize later, perhaps their fatal flaw was that they were too good. Child psychology tells me that I was raised in a permissive manner: loving and child-centered, but totally non-demanding.

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Let’s play truth and consequences

My world is perfectly designed for me, perhaps yours is too

BY DAVID RICKEY — Sometime in high school I decided that I could do anything I wanted to, as long as I was willing to accept the consequences. It was a somewhat naïve and “adolescent” choice, but it has stuck with me.

However, my awareness has deepened considerably, and the truth behind that choice has become richer and more complex. I still believe that I am a completely free agent, meaning that my choices are my own. I bear responsibility for them and for the resulting “events.”

I am now aware that there is a more primal and profound energy behind my being here that, although it doesn’t direct or control my choices, exercises an amazingly mysterious and wonderful power.

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“May I Be Frank” finds the Importance of not Being Earnest

A San Francisco-based independent film documents an ex-addict’s journey to his own soul’s code

GUEST COLUMN: DANNY KENNY — Some people are born Frank and some people learn to be Frank, but in the new film “May I be Frank?” no one can ever really be Frank except, well, Frank. Earnest, characterized as someone with a firm, humorless, and sincere belief in the validity of his own opinion is, thankfully, nowhere to be found in this flick. If you are, however, thinking flashy Italian American who does things his own way, you’re on the right track. But this is ultimately a story about a man in search of his voice and a different kind of love, perhaps the most elusive . . . self love.

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