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When sex and love are not one and the same

A heart-breaking work of staggering honesty: Sins of My Faith. In this Soul’s Code exclusive, a woman who lost her innocence to incest explains why she did not “out” her abuser

BY MARINA GIULLIANI: It’s commonly understood that incest refers to “sexual acts between close relatives”, but I know from first-hand experience that incest is a heinous act that no dictionary definition could possibly prepare you for.

Fondled by a respected member of our family, from the time I was much too young to know what havoc the guilt of sexual pleasure would bestow on my future, I lost my innocence to incest.

At one time I would have agreed with those who claim that rape is a far more serious abuse than touching. But now that I’ve put all the pieces together, it’s apparent that my subconscious made no such distinction.

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What do men really want from a woman?

What do men really want from a woman?

Truths my father told me: what men love in women are the same qualities that they seek in themselves

BY MICA AKULLIAN — I was blessed with a father who taught me that a man is what you make him.

My father was the kind of guy who cried when he was in pain, spoke out when he was feeling sad or angry, danced like a pink flamingo in a room full of metaphorical seagulls, and loved unabashedly all those things which moved his heart.

For my father, answering the call of what people in spiritual circles call ‘the divine feminine’ took all his courage — and rendered making meaningful friendships with other Baby Boomer men in the suburbs of central California distinctly difficult.  He found himself searching for water in a parched desert, and while his life was cut too short (he died before his time at 45), he passed a proverbial torch to me.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger and the unbearable lateness of monogamy

An up-close and personal account of infidelity from a Soul’s Code contributor goes deeper than the public contritions of governors, celebrities and other cheaters

BY CASSANDRA KELLY — Sometimes, to amuse myself, I think about the parallels between my life and the lives of those that our society has deemed “famous” or “stars.” For instance, I grew up in poverty — so did Gloria Estefan.  I’m a pilates lover and so is Jen Anniston.

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On relationships: need versus fidelity

On relationships: need versus fidelity

If trust is about truth, no wonder we find it more difficult to look into each other’s eyes than to have sex together

BY DAVID RICKEY – In Woody Allen’s latest film of dysfunction, You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger, Gemma Jones’ character says, “My husband walked out on me for one simple reason. I was too honest with him. I refused to allow him to delude himself.”

Truth, lies, seeing, blindfolding . . . having too much of one, and too little of the other, can tip the scales in a relationship, destroying trust.

Trust is really a question of energy flow.

When I truly love you, my energy flows positively out toward you. When I trust you, I believe that your energy will flow positively toward me.

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10 things that make a workout spiritual

10 things that make a workout spiritual

A real hockey mom shares her search for exercise that tunes her body and soul.

BY MICHELLE MORRA-CARLISLE I am not tough. If a gang of men with sticks repeatedly pelted me with a rock-hard projectile you might find me on the ground in the fetal position, pleading with them to stop.

What I actually mean by that is that, unlike Sarah Palin, I am a real hockey mom. I live in Canada. And when I first saw my husband play goal and assume the iconic, fearless “bring it on” stance, I was in awe. As well-rounded as I consider myself to be, in that moment I saw that in my non-athletic development I had missed out on something important.

The fittest of the fit are sublimely aware that for the mind to be in optimal shape, so must the body, and vice versa.

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What is the difference between sex and intimacy?

What is the difference between sex and intimacy?

“In relationships most people are so afraid that there actually is no relationship.”

BY TONY SAMARA — I have worked in spiritual camps by the beach where everyone is dressed up in lovely Indian flowing clothes — or lack of them — and this has very interesting reactions in the men and women that are there. The whole situation becomes one full of beautiful people walking around and the mind wanders off into imaginary scenarios that have nothing to do with union. It is all coming out of desire.

In our society, sexuality is based on desire. It is a desirable thing to be in a relationship. It is a desirable thing to be in connection with someone who is beautiful and who fulfils emotional parts that make you feel happy, joyful, ecstatic, infatuated or whatever the feeling is at that time.

Union is very different.

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Finding, and losing, love

Finding, and losing, love

I find my soulmate, but a cyber lover causes a rift in our bond

Read the Soul’s Code exclusive series, Sins of my Faith

In Marina’s last episode she begins therapy with a psychologist and realizes that she’s become estranged from both her creative, and feminine sides.

BY MARINA GIULLIANI — After years of hopping from bed to bed I’d finally found a place where I felt truly comfortable.  I sealed my promiscuous past in a vault at the back of my head and jumped at the chance for a normal relationship.

Chris was the love of my life, and we were involved in a full time relationship from first sight. The product of a nasty alcoholic father, and a mother who made up for all his father’s evil deeds, Chris had more goodness than any human being I’d ever met.

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How to make every day a sacred day

Rev. Criss Ittermann is a quadruple-threat: Interfaith minister, shamanic practioner, Reiki master and life coach. Here, she coaches you out of singleton “panic mode”.

GUEST COLUMN: REV. CRISS ITTERMANN, 1st of 2 parts Valentine’s Day is not just for lovers, and doesn’t consist solely of icons like chocolates, flowers, diamonds, and romantic engagements.

Together we can transform it into the holiday of sacred and unconditional love.  It is possible to take an over-commoditized holiday and turn it into a sacred celebration of the spiritual side of love.

Rather than turning the day’s passion inwards to only the very closest people in our lives — or worse, making it into a pity party for the single person without a date — why not go to great lengths to expand the circle of those you love, express love to, and experience a divine connection with?

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Spiritual Surf: Vatican and New Moon, Mel Gibson, and Marriage Myths

Vatican takes on New Moon while Pope courts artists; Mel Gibson goes rogue; Marriage myths busted

The Vatican demonstrates full on hate-on for New Moon

We are as (not) shocked as you are to hear that The Vatican condemns New Moon.  The Vatican’s Culture Council leader, Monsignor Franco Perazzolo isn’t down with the film’s “deviant” message to youth, but perhaps it’s all the fit shirtless dudes adorning the flick that really have his knickers in a twist.

Continuing in a cultural “vein”, the Pope met with 250 artists (500 were invited), including singer Andrea Bocelli, on Saturday, November 21st in a cozy little place called the Sistine Chapel.  His message, to encourage artists to inject more spirituality into their work, and in aid of “renew[ing] the Church’s friendship with the world of art.” Suggestion: a starting place may be for The Vatican to get out of the business of movie critic/censor.

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How does your sex life measure up, spiritually-speaking?

Test your knowledge of the spiritual secrets of the stars. How well do you know the tantra mantras of Scarlett, Heather, Sting and others?

In the 1970s, the now-deceased and disgraced Indian guru, Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, began turning baby boomers in the west onto the principles of Tantric sex. And as the word spread, celebrities have been mixing up orgasms with spirituality ever since:

1.  Over what time span did Sean “Diddy” Combs claim to have had Tantric sex with his twins’ mama while in Paris ?

A.  10 hours
B.  20 hours
C.  30 hours
D.  2 days



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