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Mitt’s Mormonism

The Republican nominee low-bridges his faith in a party of Bible-thumpers

BY PAUL KAIHLA — The Democrats have their “minority” candidate in-waiting for president — Hillary — and a minority president, through the prism of the ‘race card.’

Religously-speaking, the Republicans have a minority candidate, too. Mitt Romney (translation: Mormon).

Mitt is a Boomer begat by a baronette of American politics: George Romney, three-term governor of Michigan, a former federal cabinet secretary and a runner-up to Nixon in the 1968 Republican primary for president. But did you know that Romney senior was born in Chihauhau, Mexico?

And did you know why? His parents had fled the U.S. because the LDS — Mormon shorthand for their official church — had disavowed polygamy. Although it was officially illegal in Mexico, who back-then-there would give an Eff about such a statute in an out-of-the-way place?

Was Mitt’s father a polygamist? Hardly. But he was a true believer, and actually worked as a Mormon missionary before his political career and turn as CEO of American Motors.

Back to the future: When Mitt launched his campaign for the 2008 presidential nomination, he worked overtime to dispell “misconceptions” about Mormonism in a big interview that the New York Times splashed on its front page:

He said he shared with many Americans the bafflement over obsolete Mormon practices like polygamy — he described it as “bizarre” — and disputed the argument that his faith would require him to be loyal to his church before his country.

Holy speaking in tongues — ”bafflement”?!

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Jesus or the Easter Egg: ‘Witch’ Came First?

Jesus or the Easter Egg: ‘Witch’ Came First?

Ever wonder how bunny eggs, death and resurrection fit together?  A pagan history of  the goddess, and how the church stole Easter

President Obama and Easter bunny

BY DANNY KENNY — Ever since I was an angelic little boy, there are many reasons why I’ve always loved Easter. But I would no longer be angelic in good Irish Catholic fashion if I didn’t admit that gorging myself with sumptuous chocolate eggs after a cruel, six-week enforced abstinence (during Lent) from my first love wasn’t a huge part of that.

Even as a child I had trouble equating chocolate eggs and Easter bunnies, but when you’re in a self-induced chocolate coma, such heady thoughts soon pass.

On a deeper level — even though I grew away from my childhood addiction and religion — I still retained a different kind of deeper love for the annual celebration of renewal, faith and hope.

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Scoring spirituality

Scoring spirituality

Danny Kenny reviews the reviewers:  Sarlo’s Guru Ratings, Spiritual Teachers and Peter’s Pages — or as he calls them, ‘the unholy trinity’

BY DANNY KENNY — It’s such a simple step to go cynical. But Holy-ocity! — “handicapping” spiritual teachers, guides and gurus like race horses? That’s called bad form.

In these times, many of us dream or wish for “the simple life.” Some of us even go so far as to search for it. But be careful what you wish for — or more like, be careful what you Google.

Especially if you’re searching for “spiritual teachers,” or say, some of the names listed on Soul’s Code in the right column under the Department called Teachers We Track. One of these sites are likely to show up in the first page of your search results: Sarlo’s Guru Ratings, Peter’s Pages and Spiritualteachersorg. They “rate” — and in some cases, berate — spiritual experiences and figures.

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A Soul’s Code smackdown: Obama vs. Jesus

On the first anniversary of Obama’s inauguration, we decode the rookie president’s Jesus myth. A top 10 list of the differences between the two saviors

SOUL’S CODE — Here, we come to the aid of all spell-bound Americans who, with the help of the media and Soul’s Code itself, once blurred the lines between Obama and Christ.

Thus, we name the Top 10 differences between the president and the real Jesus:

1. According to the Mormons, Jesus Christ lived in North America hundreds of years ago, and is due back for a “second coming.” Obama was born in Hawaii; everyone, possibly even Sarah Pallin, knows that Hawaii’s not in North America.

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Spiritual Surf: Hot Mormons, Tom Cruise, Baha’u'llah, East Germany, and Magical Hebrew Letters

Mark your Calendars for LDS Endowment

A site called Hot Mormon Muffins has created an attention getting calendar picturing luscious Mormon moms in appealing poses, after the style of 1950s pin-up artist Joyce Ballantyne.  The idea is to be a “vehicle to create dialog and deliberately debunk the subservient stereotypes of women’s roles within the Mormon Church.”  Note that a men’s version of the calendar, Men on a Mission, is also available.   The site founder was raised in a 6th generation Mormon family and has been excommunicated from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for pushing this particular envelope.

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Gross! The great unifier of the human collective

We may be one consciousness but Mary Roach’s Bonk details in naturalistic glory how we are also 6 billion runny noses and rumbling stomachs

GUEST COLUMN: AMY LEASK — I’m on my third book by Mary Roach and I’m riveted. It’s called Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex, and it’s a very graphic account of the anatomy of sex.

Having taught gender studies, I’m not easily rattled, but I have to admit this makes me slightly queasy.

I keep looking over at my dearest love, imagining his reaction to such medical monstrosities (in one section, Roach apologizes to her male readers for the shock and revulsion they’ll likely feel).

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Where “Snot Boy,” “Dogma” and the Dalai Lama meet

The platypus, a baboon’s behind, and The Housewives Tarot prove that the universe has a wild sense of humour

 GUEST COLUMN: AMY LEASK — As an undergrad, I took an English seminar on women and nature, which included a number of traditional stories from Canada’s “First Nations” communities. Eyebrows went up when we were assigned a piece entitled “Snot Boy”, and as we read about the first man on Earth being created from mucus, we guiltily stifled our giggles.

It was an incredible relief when our professor pointed out that even the most sacred of stories could still be told with humour. Life, after all, could be incredibly strange and funny, and it wasn’t a sin to acknowledge that fact — even in sacred writings.

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Separated at miraculous birth: Barack Obama and Jesus Christ

Separated at miraculous birth: Barack Obama and Jesus Christ

From deadbeat dads to the middle initial “H”? The Top 10 reasons why Obama and Jesus are, like, almost the same person

SOUL’S CODE When Freud coined the term, transference, he used it to describe the unconscious projection we have about a parent, or some other childhood figure, onto a lover, boss — or, yes, in the media age — a presidential candidate.

Is Barack Obama the Son of Promise, Child of Hope, collective father figure, and redeemer in the eyes of the world of us — as in, the “U.S.”?

We rejoice in his victory by documenting the Top 10 similarities and synchronicities between the president-elect and Jesus the savior:

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Election withdrawal: Bill Maher’s “Religulous” a funny break?

When Republicans look at Bill Maher, they see Lucifer. Democrats see a comic genius. We saw Religulous to escape election withdrawal

BY TERJE FOKSTUEN — As funny as he is, Bill Maher is a cerebral type who lives in his head — at the expense of his heart. He’s missing enough in the soul-department that I almost felt sorry for him as I watched Religulous, his big-screen collaboration with former Seinfeld-writer Larry Charles (now a guerrilla-cinema director, who made his name with Borat).

I say the above with “kid love”, which is Bill’s refrain after punchlines during his stand-up routine on his Friday night HBO series, Real Time With Bill Maher. Yes, I am a fan.

But Bill’s first feature film left me cold. Religulous (rhymes with “ridiculous”)

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