BY ELLEN FENNER — We all have a moment we can look back on and see divine intervention that we didn’t necessarily recognize at the time. For me it was the day an angel (see photo) sat me down at her kitchen table and fed my starving soul.

In the spring of 1984, I returned home from my second year at college completely dejected. I had lost control of everything I’d ever imagined myself to have any control over. When I decided not to go back the next year, I gave up a full-tuition scholarship and set myself adrift.For five months I languished at my parents home in rural New Hampshire, unable to move forward. They did their best to help me get going again but the terror was overwhelming. Instead of enjoying the prime of my youth, I was paralyzed.

My parents had begun renting the other side of their farmhouse to a new tenant. She was a woman from Chicago who had moved to New Hampshire to help start a publishing company in our small town.

I (in the picture to the left) would see her come and go, and once in a while my dad would send me over to her side of the house to call upstairs and see if she wanted some lunch with us. She was a writer and I felt a little bad about interrupting her in the middle of her work but I’d force myself to do it.

We’d all sit down around the table and talk. This fascinating woman had the most interesting view of the world, and told us stories about the people she was meeting and all that she was learning about them.

She was a city girl in her late thirties and had totally uprooted herself by moving to NH. She had no sense of what it was like to live on a farm, so my dad helped her get used to it by letting the sheep out to chase her! One day she even ended up on the roof of her car while Dad chuckled at her as he watched from inside the house.

At his urging, I’m sure, she invited me over to her kitchen one afternoon. I was completely unprepared for the directness of her question:

“Ellen, are you gay?”

I was caught off guard. “Uh . . . yes . . .” I stammered back.

She just said, “I thought so . . .”

Much of my distress at college had begun with this revelation about myself. I braced myself for the lecture that I thought was coming.

She began to tell me her understanding of why gay people exist in the world. To my surprise, she didn’t tell me that I was wrong or bad. Instead, she helped me to understand my place in the world and the progression of life in general, since it was clear to me that mine was not going to follow a “normal” trajectory. She told me stories about how gay people throughout history had existed to change the consciousness of society.

We discussed the population crisis and how homosexuals were a way for the universe to put the brakes on a bit. I began to understand that it was up to me to create my own concept of life. She urged me to “just take one step. It doesn’t matter what direction — JUST MOVE!”

We talked for hours, and though my memories of the specific conversation are spotty now, I still feel the opening of my heart as she peeled back the white knuckles of my mind, one by one, to reveal a light in me that I had forgotten was there.

Years later, after I’d fallen out of touch with her, I overheard someone in Florida talking about this amazing woman she’d just learned of named Caroline Myss. My ears perked up, and I flashed back to that farmhouse kitchen encounter in 1984. “You know Caroline?” I asked the woman. She replied, “Doesn’t everybody? If they don’t, they should!”

I had no idea that Caroline, this wonderful thinker and writer who wore fancy fur coats in rural New Hampshire and had been afraid of a bunch of sheep, had since gone on to deliver to the rest of the world the same message of clarity and redemption that she had given me in the infancy of her work as a mystical Medical Intuitive, spiritual teacher and author. As the woman in Florida said, “If you don’t know Caroline, you should.”

Thank you, Caroline Myss, for devoting your life to sharing your message.

Ellen is a writer and artist living in central Florida, immersed in the suburban dream of her youth, but with the perspective of a lifetime of unconventional experiences and spiritual searching. Check out Ellen’s humor-fueled blog, Downright E-fenzive.

Soul’s Code has sung the praises of female mystics and spiritual teachers since our inception —  meet our inspirations, Pamela Wilson, Byron Katie, Caroline Myss, Katie Davis, Vaishali Love and Karen McPhee

Test your S-factor, as in, the measure of the soul:

1.  According to transpersonal psych studies, women have an edge when it comes to remembering, understanding and relaying their mystical experiences. Why is that?

A.  Women are smarter than men.
B.  Women have better communication between the left and right sides of the brain.
C.  Men have fewer mystical experiences than women.
D.  Men censor themselves more than women, and will not admit to having mystical experiences.

2.  Who believes (or believed) in the “spiritual goodness of poverty?”

A.  Joan of Arc
B.  Marianne Williamson
C.  Mother Teresa
D.  Kim Eng

3.  Who has been known to provide lectures and workshops free of charge?

A.  Byron Katie (pictured at right)
B.  Kim Eng
C.  Caroline Myss
D.  Pamela Wilson

4.  Eckhart Tolle’s work heavily influenced which mystic, who is also his friend?

A.  Vaishali Love
B.  Catherine Ingram
C.  Katie Davis
D.  Marianne Williamson

5.  Who said, “Keep your honor code between you and God,  you don’t break that, no matter who’s not looking. God is.”

A.  Mother Teresa
B.  Caroline Myss
C.  Byron Katie
D.  St. Teresa of Avila

6.  How many people is Hindu spiritual leader Amma reported to have hugged over the past 30 years?

A.  50,000
B.  1 million
C.  21 million
D.  30 million

7.  How much will it cost you to buy a Caroline Myss “Myss hat?”

A.  $15
B.  $20
C.  $30
D. Free with proof of a donation to a charity of your choice.

8.  Who released a child’s book called Tiger-Tiger Is It Time in November 2009?

A.  Kim Eng
B.  Byron Katie
C.  Amma
D.  Karen McPhee

The answers you seek: 1. B, 2. C, 3. A, 4. C, 5. B, 6. D, 7. A, 8. B.

Cultural psychology, sociology, and evolution all prove the theory of Spiral Dynamics — here’s your free lesson

GUEST COLUMN: MICK QUINN AND DEBORA PRIETO — My personal opinion is that, from an absolute point of view, we are all one, and equal. However, from a relative point of view the story is a bit different. In the past, I always had trouble trying to reconcile the fact that I am the same as the Buddha. . .as well as a maniacal dictator.  We definitely don’t regularly behave like one over the other, but everyone has the potential for both types of behavior.  Studying Spiral Dynamics (SD) is what helped me find peace with this issue.

You may have heard of a concept called “meme.” It’s a word tossed around by many, such as Richard Dawkins in his three-decade-old book The Selfish Gene, and by the mystic and author Caroline Myss. But meme is just part of what is included in the theory of SD. In what follows, we’ll share with you a primer on the history and evolution of SD, as well as explain how this knowledge can benefit you personally and professionally.

How SD provides compassion

SD offers a map of human development and the needs and aspirations related to any group or meme. By clarifying the different perspectives (egocentric, ethnocentric, wordcentric, or cosmocentric) I can better understand each one. I am able to fully reconcile the fact that I will always have personal preferences but am no longer a slave to those preferences. Thus, I move on to higher horizons. By applying SD, I take full responsibility for the perspectives in myself by knowing the limitations of each. By transcending and including each meme within, I can consciously choose to be a fully functioning human being.

Understanding the ever-evolving spiral of development also gives me a more compassionate view of others. If I am relating with an individual who is at an egocentric level, I know that his or her view of the world doesn’t go beyond the self, so I cannot demand him or her to do anything for the sake of humanity. It’s just not in their consciousness — yet. But with SD, one is able to evolve through the spiral of consciousness to higher levels in a healthy, wise, and compassionate way.

SD — Original School

Dr. Clare W. Graves, Ph.D., was a visionary thinker and college professor who began laying the groundwork for the theory behind SD in the 1950s.   SD is largely a simplification and popularization of Dr. Graves’ original theories, which held that human behavior can be broken down into multiple patterns or levels of existence.

According to Dr. Graves, “The psychology of the mature human being is an unfolding, emergent, oscillating, spiraling process marked by progressive subordination of older, lower-order behavior systems to newer, higher-order systems as man’s existential problems change.” So, the spiral emerges in response to ever increasing orders of complexity in the human mind.

He created a deep and elegant system of human development, which has been improved upon and, today, has expanded to what we refer to as SD.  The existence of eight great levels or waves of development in human consciousness allows us to look at the extraordinary history of humanity as an unfolding of higher and higher levels of development. As will be explained later, this proved useful for dealing with the diversity of human cultures.

The existence of these stages is not a mere speculation, but based on data compiled by many researchers and from many research projects. The majority of the results of the models of stages have been carefully checked in first, second, and third world countries.

The New School of Spiral Dynamics

Over the past thirty years, Don Beck and Christopher Cowan have improved on Dr. Graves’ work, producing an approach which they have labeled Spiral Dynamics. The principles of SD have been beneficially applied throughout the world in fields of business, municipal activity, reorganization of educational systems, and elimination of tensions in poor neighborhoods.  Don Beck visited South Africa over sixty times to apply the SD model in an effort to end apartheid in that country.

Memes in our World

SD reveals that human development flows through eight general stages, that are called memes. A meme is simply a stage of development that is being expressed according to the values of a collective of individuals – a culture. Sometimes called vMemes (v – for values), these stages are not rigid levels, but fluid, superimposed and interrelated waves that give rise to the complex dynamic spiral of the development of consciousness. The development, therefore, is not linear and symmetrical but extremely fluid, yet beautifully complex.

Think of the stage of development predominant thousands of years ago when communities of people whose meager and strenuous horticultural-based routines were the dominant lifestyle. Today, in an isolated corner of one of the most developed countries in Western Europe, this is still the way of life. Similarly, the many levels of development described in SD exist simultaneously in our world. They are mercilessly entwined, in harmony, in conflict, and yet ever evolving; the highest levels and the lowest levels of development coexist. In between, growth and alteration is harmlessly relentless.

Sources: Spiral Dynamics – Beck/Cowan: Blackwell Publishing 1996/2006.  The collected works of American Philosopher, Ken Wilber.  EnlightenNext Magazine – Fall/Winter 2002. For more information on Spiral Dynamics, please visit EnlightenNext Magazine and Spiral Dynamics Integral.

Next: The two tiers of consciousness; and how an understanding of Spiral Dynamics can help you, and those around you.

Mick Quinn is the Irish-born author of the recently released book, The Uncommon Path (O-Books UK/USA ) and the founder of several multi-million dollar companies. Mick lives in Utah and teaches with his wife Debora Prieto who uses Genpo Roshi’s Big Mind Process.  For Integral Coaching and upcoming events please visit his site.

GUEST COLUMN: TIM TAYLOR —  Spirituality is pretty cool, isn’t it? It’s something that we each really want to share with our friends and family.  We want them to enjoy many of the benefits that make us high.

I grew up in Indiana and went to Wharton Business School because I wanted to be a Chief Financial Officer. After 15 years of working as a consultant and controller I knew there had to be more to life.

My therapist recommended The Wisdom of No Escape . . .and everything started to change. Not overnight, but inexorably, kind of like St. Francis when he turned back from his first night’s ride as a would-be knight to join the Fourth Crusade.

I stepped into the world of spirituality, and what I remember most was learning a whole new way of speaking that was confusing. I heard a language that was English but nothing short of Sanskrit to me.

Let me share my experiences. . .

* I am present: In 2001, I was talking to my friend Aimee, telling her how difficult life had become and how I really needed someone to really listen.  She said she was “present for me.”  I told her thanks, but it’s not my birthday. I’d never heard this term before.

I understand that it’s the foundation for living consciously, but as an introduction to spirituality it was confusing.

Perhaps there are simpler ways to explain it.  For example, talking about how we are feeling at that moment, and describing how rewarding it is to truly listen to someone.

* Dropping Names: In 2002, I went to the Vedanta Center’s bookstore in San Francisco with my friend Isabel.  As we went through the books, she oohed and aahed at authors like Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra (pictured at right in cool shades), Marianne Williamson and Joel Goldsmith.

I had never heard of any of them.  And as much as we love them, there are a huge percentage of people in this world who never will, either.

It certainly felt intimidating not knowing any of them.  Perhaps we can make it more approachable by stepping into our friends’ frame of reference.

* Intention/Intent/….Intend?: In 2004, I took my first stab at “manifesting” another confusing term but that’s for another time.  I learned I had to “intend” something from reading Wayne Dyer’s Power of Intention.

I’m aware that intent and intention refer to motivation or “right” action.  But what’s up with intending?  I’ve heard the word hundreds of time (thank you Dr. Dyer!).  And I still don’t get it. If I send “want” into the universe, would I not continue to receive want?  But isn’t it the same with intending?  If I intend something, won’t I get “intend” back?

I have been studying spirituality for a while and this concept still confuses me.  You can bet it will confuse people who have never heard it used in this context.  This is one of the areas where I feel like I’m supposed to say it even if I don’t understand it (and, eventually, I will believe it).  Just do it, and belief will come in time.  To me this sounds like organized religion.

* Abundance: In 2007, I went to see Caroline Myss speak, while she was touring her book, Entering the Castle.  An audience member asked why it always seems that when any of the thought leaders talk about attracting abundance, they always cite the times when it worked.  A super question that she fumbled and bumbled through.

It’s been my experience that spirituality is like a vending machine.  Intend it, and you’ll get it.  And far too often it has a monetary element to it.  And I’m not just talking about The Secret.

At a minimum, if we are going to use a word like abundance as part of our language, we have to understand that it is a new term to many.  Perhaps we can describe why saying abundance is important.

These are just a few language examples of why I think approaching spirituality as a newbie is intimidating.  There is no doubt that we all want to give the gift of spirituality to our friends and family.  There is also no doubt that many of them won’t take it if we don’t step into their frame of reference when we are giving the gift.

Tim Taylor has been studying and living (as best as he can) spirituality, and his beautiful daughter is the greatest teacher in his life.  A CPA, he earned an MBA from Wharton School of Business.  He coaches start-ups on how to present their plans to investors and not entirely unrelated —  also does stand-up comedy.

BEING THERE: DAVID RICKEY — I have always thought of “AHA” moments as those times when suddenly we “catch on” to a deeper reality, when we suddenly “get it” – the “it” being a deeper truth, or a clearer insight into “ultimate reality.” These experiences are sometimes caricatured by a light-bulb turning on. Suddenly we see something that had been invisible, or un-graspable before.

On a personal level, the “A-Ha” may be an answer to a problem or question that has been plaguing us; a sudden awareness of a solution or a new perspective that hits us, seemingly from nowhere, or “out of the blue”. From a deeper level, however, “A-Ha” moments, I believe, are breakthroughs in consciousness where an old, more limited, perspective gives way to an expanded awareness of what is really going on, our part in it, and then a summons to change our choices, behaviors, intentions to align better with this new awareness. Spiritual teachers speak of “waking up”, indicating that what came before was a state of “sleep-walking”, behaving and choosing without awareness.

To me, it is this summons that is the key. Unless insight produces action it is useless — or at best, self-serving — because it only serves to make us feel better. As others here have pointed out, to speak of “A-Ha” moments in the same context that we speak of looking better in tight jeans, or having fewer wrinkles, calls into question the motivation for seeking an “A-Ha”.

I believe that the fundamental purpose of the “life force” is the evolution of consciousness. From the moment life began (and probably before, but that’s another discussion) there has been an energy that has “pushed” towards greater and greater awareness. First awareness of “self”, then awareness of self in relation to “otherness” – first reactive, then responsive and intentional. Then, awareness of self in “connectedness” to “other,” not only in physical and social interdependence but ultimately in spiritual awareness of oneness — what the Apostle Paul expressed as “The Body of Christ,” or Ralph Waldo Emerson and Meyer Baba called the “over-soul”. The second “commandment” Jesus quoted from the Torah – “Love your neighbor as yourself” – really means to recognize and love your neighbor because your neighbor is yourself.

Essentially, then, “A-Ha” moments are those moments which move us along on our journey to recognize that unity and consciously to choose to live from that recognition. Thus, the best preparation is any work that seeks to transcend the limited identity of Ego. We don’t create “A-Ha” moments, we simply prepare the awareness to receive what the “life force” is always trying to communicate. Our work is only to break down the resistance, soften the boundaries, poke holes, if you will, in the membrane that appears to separate us.

Teachers like Ram Dass, Ramana Maharshi, Byron Katie, Caroline Myss, Eckhart Tolle, seek to instruct us in the techniques that prepare us for these “A Ha” moments. And it is possible that the “greater consciousness” knows that for many of us it takes the “lure” of looking younger, or becoming more “successful” to entice us into considering a larger purpose for our life than any of those lures. To paraphrase what I quoted elsewhere: “To give us what we [think we] want to prepare us to receive what our souls truly seek.”

As unique as each of our “soul-codes” is, I believe that the fundamental encoding is the same – to seek awareness of the unity of all life. For only when we get that “A-Ha” will we stop killing each other and strive only for serving each other.