Groundhog day
Have you ever saw a movie “Groundhog day”. I did. Sometimes I feel as if I am in that movie. I feel as if all my life spins around events that carry the same essence. The situations that I find myself in have been repeatedly recovering through out my life and would be most well defined as fear and frustration. I can find similarities in the type of the causations that lead to that outcome and I know the signs of it coming. It has its own climax, called depression. Thinking about the reasons and understanding them, however, does not help me much in preventing the consequences. I feel as if I am trapped in it and I will never find the way out of it. I feel as if this “It” – something inside me and will always control me. This is the It that let’s me go when I feel to close to end and let me rebuild myself, so that It can take me back again with the new even stronger force. It is not the suicide that can solve the problem but it definitely occasionally comes as a solution of the last reserve in my mind. What is it that stops me? Maybe that this last reserve would not leave me any last chance?
1 Comment »
If this spoke to you, here are five similar articles.
- Thea, Rock Goddess
- Breathing Room: How do you find it after a little child has died?
- Top 9 Spiritual Resorts: Sycamore Mineral Springs
- No. 3: Groundhog Day
- “Less” is the new more
the beautiful cycle of life...lambs in the spring...wild flowers in the summer...enlivening winds in [...]
on 10 Jul 2007 at 5:07 pm 1.Susan Levy said …
Marina,
Please hang in there. I think lots of people feel this way as they go through their Samsara toward enlightenment. The key is to let go of the suffering you feel at being trapped. Accept what you cannot change and focus on keeping your own experience of it positive and upbeat. Good luck.