Jully Black has some advice for how to deal with a cheating ex-boyfriend that’s still on the mind of one of her readers. It sounds like a bad situation. He got another woman pregnant and his ex-girlfriend of five years has nightmares about it. Black’s suggestion? “As far as your nightmares, you need to be relaxed before you go to bed. Drink some chamomile tea every night. Lie on your back and breathe deeply ten times in through your nose and out through your mouth.”

But we’ve got another tip for Jully Black’s anonymous reader. Call it the spotless mind method of memory deletion. Read more about it.

What do you do when there’s no “good” reason to break up with someone but are still dissatisfied with your relationship? An anonymous poster asks this very question:

“I feel really stuck. I don’t have any huge issues with my boyfriend that are straining our daily relationship… just some smaller things gnawing away at my heart. My boyfriend of 6 years is a pretty wimpy person. I pretty much have to take complete care of him (we live together), he doesn’t help me to be a better person, he has low self esteem and doesn’t put effort into bettering himself. He can’t make friends and is incredibly shy. He hasn’t worked for months and he is doing poorly in school, aimlessly wandering and throwing money away on tuition. I’ve been paying for most of his expenses for the past year and it’s only going to get worse. Due to his lack of direction and passion for anything, I’m not really attracted to him anymore.”

You can’t change people, but you can change the way you perceive them or interact with them. It’s certainly okay to tell someone it’s time to move on.

Read how Stella85, one of our Soul’s Code Contributors, broke up with her boyfriend in college: Part 1, Part 2.

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