Soul’s Code

“Work was my compulsion; the admiration of others, my addiction. Taking back my life was a labor of love”

DATELINE, British Columbia: DAWN DANCING OTTER — I was raised a Christian. My family, for many generations (so far as I know) has been Christian of one denomination or another. When I was a child, I loved God with a child’s conviction. I was fairly certain that God was an old man, kind of an angry one, with a beard, who lived in the sky. I would pray to the old man every night and sometimes all day long. . . please help me, I feel alone, God.

I wanted God’s approval SO badly. There was literally no way to receive it, though, because I was told I was already a sinner.

“Before I learned how to know who I am from the inside-out, I thought I needed to become a model to be beautiful.”

GUEST COLUMN: LAURA HOLLICK — “People feel ugly when they look at beauty magazines.” 

I heard this saying and I thought it was ironic. . . Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever compared yourself to someone in a magazine and felt like you didn’t measure up, or have you thought, “if I just change these things about myself then I’ll be beautiful”?

I’d like to share a story with you about my quest to understand beauty. . .

GUEST COLUMN: LAURA HOLLICK

Have you heard of the Lifetime network reality series, How to Look Good Naked?

It’s hosted by Carson Kressley from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and takes women through a kind of 12-step program on how to fall in love with their bodies.

Two years ago, long before this series ever hit the airwaves, I embarked on my own How to Look Good Naked odyssey. In my case: I set a specific benchmark and goal. By the summer of 2008, I contracted with myself, I’d pose for a nude photo shoot as a symbolic gesture to mark my celebration of loving my body.

“Know thyself” is much easier to say than to do. Pursuing a knowledge of self is the fundamental basis of all psychology. It also forms the basis of many spiritual pursuits. Yet so many are unwilling to pursue this path.

As John Gardner writes in “Self-Renewal:”

“Human beings have always employed an enormous variety of clever devices for running away from themselves, and the modern world is particularly rich in such stratagems. We can keep ourselves so busy, fill our lives with so many diversions, stuff our heads with so much knowledge, involve ourselves with so many people and cover so much ground that we never have time to probe the fearful and wonderful world within. More often than not we don’t want to know ourselves, don’t want to depend on ourselves, don’t want to live with ourselves. By middle life most of us are accomplished fugitives from ourselves.”

It’s just easier NOT to walk the path toward self-understanding. Sometimes we turn away from the path because we encounter things we don’t like or are unwilling to accept. Consider the findings of Dr. Phillip Zimbardo. You’ll remember him as the author of the famous Stanford Prison Study, which segregated students into “inmates” and “guards” and watched how the two groups

How do we grow? Let me count the ways…

Morten Lund writes about his daughter’s growth epiphany (see picture). I’ve had the same realization several times myself. I’ve outgrown several philosophies, ideas and even lovers. This is one of the hardest things about growth, you have to give things up and leave them behind. Whether it’s a favorite pair of pants that no longer fits, or your best friend, who seems to be stuck at a level you’ve left. But you can’t blame your pants or resent your old friend. Growth is part of your personal journey and if you’re not growing, it’s time refocus.

DaVette writes about growth in relationships: