Soul’s Code

http://www.sexhelp.com/sast.cfm

Abusive boyfriends, how relationships go bad, checklists for a potential girlfriend

Girl in a Word has decided to dump her boyfriend after he nearly threatened physical abuse, she writes. She says she’s glad she didn’t marry the guy, who is manipulative, she says.

Living Tantra writes a nice piece on how relationships go bad: “As if you were on a speeding train, you have zoomed from the Happy Town of Idealizing to the Not-So-Happy Town of Demonizing. You have entirely skipped over the City of Realizing.” This comes from projecting onto your beloved, she writes. Definitely worth reading for anybody who thinks he or she is in love.

Worldtravelings has this great picture of two lovers.

TLA writes about the backlash he got for following the advice of The Secret and listing exactly what he wanted in a woman. We’ve been railing against The Secret for some time now.

Kimberly has an application for potential boyfriends up on her blog.

The Lookout compares a good relationship to good sex. The author’s idea would warm a libertarian’s heart. He or she writes:

“The miracle of sex is that men and women take pleasure in actions that the other desires independently. The act of stimulating a sexual partner is sometimes much more exciting than the stimulation that they provide you, directly, and not simply because you enjoy that pleasure vicariously. And the same thing is true for all relationships, I think. The best chemistry in a relationship is when we take independent pleasure in doing things that our partners in that relationship enjoy.“

A Hindu guru’s genital oiling scandal; Seduction Labs; Lauren Taylor is the daughter Sarah Palin wishes she had; What is ‘acousticophilia’?

Do Hindu religious leaders approve of genital oiling? I never thought to ask, but it’s on the mind of the folks at BarryPittard. The author is calling for an investigation into Sathya Sai Baba, a guru who has faced alligations of sexual impropriety.

Another question that I’ve at least considered before is “why do women tease?” The writers at Seduction Labs have this answer:

“Women don’t actually set out to tease men. It just happens that attracting many men without mating with them is a sexual strategy that women have evolved to help them make the best of their biology. This behaviour evolved because it is successful. The fact that it makes the unsuccessful suitors uncomfortable is biologically irrelevant.“

That’s Seduction Lab’s picture to the left. What makes sense: A fair amount of a man’s perception of teasing has to do with projections.

Lauren Taylor has a different perspective. She’s decided to remain a virgin until she’s married. She writes: “Therefor, until I say I do, my sexual satisfaction comes from little flirtations without words: The up and down glances from men. I only occasionally play the part.“

Flirtation is an important part of her burgeoning sex life. She describes it as a way for her to enjoy the mental aspects of physical attraction.

The Candles outlines a list of abnormal sexual practices including Sadism, Zoophilia, Acoustophilia and Frottage. Sex, the author says, is a sacred gift from God to be shared between a married man and woman.

The author writes: “This is very natural and normal when the married couples use this gift. But when it is used outside a marriage and in a strange manner it becomes unnatural and abnormal.“

He helpfully adds that Acousticophilia is a language fetish. Think of Jamie Lee Curtis’ love of Russian in the movie, A Fish Called Wanda.

Figleaf writes that sex is nothing more than a “…friction-induced nervous discharge can easily be self-administered.“

Everything else, he argues, is the product of “culture driven perceptions.” That piles a lot into the bucket-list.

Forbes.com recommends yoga in the conference room as one of its 10 ways to reduce stress at work. (picture from Forbes.com)

Newsweek reviews “Away From Her” a movie about losing a loved one to Alzheimer’s.

The Phoenix Center blog offers five tips for “Getting your act together.” My favorite is Number 5: “Go out of your mind, and come to your senses.” The idea is from Fritz Perls, one of the founders of Gestalt Therapy.

Oh no, here come the Bloggers | Originally uploaded by Brett L..

Blogger gets jail for insulting Islam [The Scotsman]

Farrakhan preps “final addess” [Chicago Trib]

“Bogus” India spiritualists slammed [Economic Times]

Quiz: spirituality of Britney Spears [BeliefNet]

Anna Nicole to Brit: lets “hang out” [This Is London]

Mass blasted by porn [AP]

Gavin Newsom fulfilled a universal ego ambition. Out of 350-plus mayors in the United States, it was he who made the New York Times on Friday. But not for reasons the ego would conspicuously approve. Newsom had an affair with a 33-year-old woman who’d just had a baby — and she was married to the mayor’s equivalent of Karl Rove. In fact, both the married woman and her husband were on Newsom’s payroll.

But don’t ask Soul’s Code to lead with black-and-white moral indignation (we save all of that for Dr. Phil!). To pass judgement on this guy is to turn him into a blotter for our own downside projections and denied dark matter.

Newsom acts out of the same collective database, so to speak, that feeds all of our experience. And love triangles are one of the most primal plug-and-play programs coded into the human psyche, from Helen of Troy-Paris-Menelaus to the lovers Tomas, Tereza and Sabina in The Unbearable Lightness of Being. Actually, Newsom’s triangle sounds similar to the affair that the patrician Walter Lippman had with the wife of his best friend and colleague, Hamilton Fish Armstrong.

• Cat Stevens says the music biz is filled with ‘fornication, intoxicants, idolatry, competition, greed, selfishness’ [BeliefNet]

· Church of England to offer masses set to U2 [The Daily Telegraph]

· French seek to kick religion out of hospitals [IHT]

· The gospel according to U2 [Christianity Today]

Picking up women really is about more than picking up women… at least for these men:

The men each begin with a brief introduction, describing their current plight with women. Some are funny and gregarious, others withdrawn and demure, and they vary in levels of traditional attractiveness and professional success. But each shares a general sense of unease with themselves, a deep frustration and loneliness.